Well-before he passed away due to cancer much too early at the age of 40, I had many conversations with my older brother. We were four years apart, so 36 years of conversations–more or less. Yet in all of those conversations, the topic of reincarnation never came up. In retrospect, how I wish it had. When we knew he was dying, it was obviously not the right thing to talk about.

I often see a single, yellow, swallowtail butterfly, and I wonder if it’s him. Not very masculine, so maybe not.

Tom, if you could be reincarnated into anything, what would it be?

He was an absolute fanatic of trains, computers, and all things Civil War, but none of those are plausible with the idea of reincarnation.

Sadly, I don’t even know what his favorite animal was. Was it something somewhat typical like a dog? Something fierce like a dragon? Maybe it was something unexpected like a puffin? He was rather fond of going out on the lake with his daughters and in-laws, so maybe it was something aquatic? These are the sorts of things you take for granted and later regret when you realize you should have asked more questions and paid more attention.

I guess, as with most mysteriously wonderful things in life, I’ll discover it when the time is right. As Christians, we don’t believe in reincarnation anyhow. There is comfort in knowing that he’s definitely up there in heaven, maybe having conversations with Abraham Lincoln or Mister Rogers. But the selfish and broken-hearted parts of me wishes he was reincarnated into something I could have in my life to know that my big brother was nearby again.

(Side note: As I was working on this post, I texted my younger brother and asked him about his own favorite animal. His reply? “The edible ones.” Leave it to him to say that! But it did bring me a little levity. 🙂 Thanks, Michael!)

Happy holidays, dear readers. See you in 2024. As always, thanks for stopping by. ❤