I was thinking about love the other day, and what a wondrous thing it is. The archaeologist in me wonders where the human race would be without love and who the first humans were to label it. Love is not necessary for our survival, yet it’s so essential to us that I don’t think we can exist without it.
Love is such an enigmatic emotion. It makes irrational decisions seem rational, causes everything in the world to seem so much brighter and more beautiful, reduces us to an empty shell of a human being when our heart gets broken, prompts us to go above and beyond the limits imposed on us, often happens when we least expect it, exposes our vulnerabilities, and is one of the most wonderful and damning forces of the human experience.
To be in love (like honest to goodness, my world was shaken, liquid sunshine pouring through my veins and straight into my soul kind of love) is a blessing. It all makes sense, and none of it makes sense.
And then there’s a mother’s love. I look at my children and my heart swells. I can feel warmth radiating out of my chest. The love I have for them surpasses anything I’ve ever experienced in my entire life. It’s a selfish prayer to have a long life so that I can be there with them.
It goes beyond merely wanting them to be happy and healthy and safe. I would give up my last breath for them to have one more. The sacrifices I have to make in my own life are so that my kids can have a great life. The funny thing is that they’ll never know the extent and depth of my love because try as I might, I won’t ever be able to express it fully.
I figured this out when I became a mother. My own mom and I would always go back and forth with the “I love you more.” “No, I love you more.” One day, my mom said, “I love you most.” Once I gave birth to my daughter, and then to my son, I understood what my mother meant. The greatest love I’ll ever get to feel is the love I have for my children.
So to Emily and Logan: I love you most. ❤