Since becoming a mom almost two years ago, I’ve been asked on more than one occasion, “How do you do it?”  Many of us new mommies try our hardest to look like we just rolled out of bed with a fresh face and put on clean clothes.  I’m here to remind everyone that it is NOT effortless.

First of all, the early months of having a newborn are rough. I had such little sleep that I felt like I was walking around in a fog most of the time. Somehow, you get used to it, but it’s not easy when your friends want to get together for a late-night movie or an early morning jog. You have to make an effort to be sociable every once in a while, not only for your friends, but for yourself. Leave your baby with your husband or mom, and go out with your friends every now and then! You need to in order to stay sane!

It’s easy to get into a clothing rut the first weeks/months of bringing your newborn home from the hospital. Your body is still probably flabby and/or in pain from delivery/C-section surgery so you choose loose, comfy clothes. If you’re breastfeeding, you have to consider tops that provide coverage, yet easy access. And maybe it was just me placing the burp-cloth incorrectly on my shoulder, but I’d almost always end up with baby spit-up on my clothes by the end of the day. Just like with everything else, I had to make an effort to start wearing clothes that had a better fit, yet were still functional to breastfeed my daughter. I absolutely love wearing cute high heels, but I wouldn’t wear them during the last months of my pregnancy just to stay safe. It was great to be able to strut around in them again, even if it was just to the pediatrician’s office for a routine visit!

Like many women, I like wearing make-up. However, with such a lack of sleep and having more important priorities (my baby!), make-up just wasn’t essential to me or worth the effort of putting it on. I had resigned myself to this fact for about two weeks after becoming a new mom. One day, I looked in the mirror and scared myself! Enough was enough! I put my daughter down in her bouncer where I could still keep an eye on her, and I set to work on my neglected face and hair. And even though I didn’t have anywhere I needed to go that day, just putting on a little make-up and perfume really made me feel great! I felt pretty and feminine again, which boosted my mood for the rest of that day.

So if you’re a new mommy and a lot of this is ringing true with you, don’t feel bad. When you see all of those moms in their cute outfits with their hair perfectly in place, expertly pushing their strollers around Starbucks as they order a Venti Decaff Cinnamon Dolce Latte to enjoy with their fabulous friends, remember this: It isn’t effortless for them either. One day soon, maybe today, you’ll be able to find a moment to put on some eye shadow and mascara, wear a cute skirt, and feel a little bit closer to your old self again. And if you aren’t a mom, the next time you see a frazzled new mommy dressed in sweats with her hair up in a messy pony tail and baby spit-up dripping down her shoulder, don’t judge.