Here’s a continuation of the Mommyhood Dictionary that I started last week. I am writing it to my daughter, Emily.
- girl (n): Before the all-important ultrasound which showed you were a girl, I was convinced you were a boy, even though I really wanted a girl. I was even calling you Logan, the name we had picked out for a boy. I was absolutely thrilled when the doctor said my maternal instincts were wrong and you were indeed female! I have loved dressing you up in girly outfits and doing your hair in cute ways, and will cherish the mother-daughter moments we will have as you grow up.
- heartbeat (n): The first time we heard your heartbeat, I cried. I think your Daddy may have gotten a little misty-eyed, too. It was such an amazing, wonderful, miraculous sound. The quick, thumping rhythm of your tiny heart left me in awe of life, modern science, and humanity.
- instinct (n): Before you were born, I was scared because I had no idea how to care for a baby. Everyone told me to just trust my instincts. They were right. It hasn’t always been easy, but somehow, I know what to do most of the time.
- journal (n): The day I learned I was pregnant with you, I started writing in a pregnancy journal. Besides recording my early thoughts, fears, and experiences, this journal became especially helpful when I was put on bed-rest towards the end and was bored out of my mind. I kept pretty detailed notes, some of which have made their way into this blog and all of which I will share with you when you are older.
- kick (v): Feeling you kick was such a strange sensation at first. I felt you hiccuping long before the kicks, and it tickled. My belly would jiggle with each movement. I miss that.
- labor (n): From the first contraction to your arrival, my labor was just under 12 hours. It was hard work and hurt! However, you’ll be proud to know that I did not once swear or yell obscenities at anyone. I really was trying to follow the nurse’s breathing and pushing instructions, even if she thought I wasn’t.
- love (n and v): The love I have for you is something that started when I heard your heartbeat and will continue to exist in your memories and in your soul long after I have left this Earth. I love you, dear daughter, and I hope to build a wonderful life for you, full of joy, wonder, security, and love so that you may learn to know all of the different kinds of love for yourself.
*Please return next week for the continuation of this blog…